The Power of Groups: Finding Fuillment in Connection and Career
From my earliest memories, I've been a firm believer in the transformative power of groups. I realized that my mood was deeply influenced by the environment I was in. As a teenager, I felt a world of difference between being at home and playing on the basketball court. Throughout high school, I found more camaraderie and intellectual stimulation working with friends at the local golf course than I did in my classroom.
Over the past 11 years, I've had the privilege of facilitating various groups, including psychotherapy, training, and Mastermind sessions. Through these experiences, I've consistently learned that the most fulfilling groups are those that offer a unique blend of connection through shared experiences while honoring and supporting individuality.
For many, the idea of being part of such a group might seem like a dream. After all, we don't choose the family we're born into, and as children, we often have limited control over our surroundings. Unfortunately, too many children grow up trying to survive within dysfunctional family systems. However, as we grow older, opportunities for improved group experiences arise.
The challenge shifts from finding a group to determining whether a specific group can meet our relational needs. These needs encompass security, validation, acceptance from reliable sources, understanding, the ability to make an impact, receiving attention, and self-expression. It's disheartening that some people believe expecting their relational needs to be met in their careers is unreasonable.
However, it doesn't have to be this way.
In fact, the highest achievers I work with credit much of their success and career trajectory to having their relational needs consistently fulfilled. How do they achieve this? High performers regularly assess and evaluate their relationships outside of work because they are committed to recreating positive relational qualities in their careers. They recognize that their blind spots can be exposed at any moment, relying on their closest relationships to foster vulnerability and growth.
Their support network becomes an invaluable resource for feedback, especially in identifying behavior that aligns or doesn't align with their values.High performers surround themselves with individuals who can relate authentically, empathize with their well-being, hold them accountable, and challenge them when necessary.
These individuals are also open to internalizing feedback from their support network, even if it initially feels uncomfortable. They pay close attention to behavior, words, and communication tone from their network, helping them make informed decisions about the people they work with throughout their careers.The consistency and security they gain from their support network also give them the confidence to weigh feedback from those outside of their network carefully.
So, what does this mean when deciding on a new job or team?
When meeting potential future colleagues or managers, pay attention to your feelings in their presence. Do you experience the same level of comfort as you do with your support network? Observe their behaviors and listen to their words, considering:
Does this person put me at ease?
How do they respond when I assert boundaries?
Are they empathetic to my hopes and concerns about the job?
What are their values?
Do I believe they are genuinely invested in my professional growth?
Will I be encouraged to be authentic in the workplace?
With a strong support network outside of work, trust your feelings and internal dialogue as valuable data to make professional decisions with confidence. Once you've accepted a job or joined a new team, your support network can help guide you during your transition. Embracing challenging feedback from your team or manager may be inevitable, but your support system is a vital resource to help you integrate it confidently.
As you settle into your new role, consider that your personal growth can positively impact others in your network. Becoming a catalyst for change in someone else's life can be one of the most rewarding aspects of a group experience.
So, unlock the power of groups in your career and personal growth journey, and watch the ripple effect of positive change spread through your life.